Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
