I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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