i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
