I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
