Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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