Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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