bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
