The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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