Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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