i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize