Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wish you could order shots online.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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