You really coming over, don't trick.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
