You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
