life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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