At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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