wrigley field is MILF paradise
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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