I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize