Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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