I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
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There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
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nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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