I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize