I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
