u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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