Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
