im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
