he thought i was a dude.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
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At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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