You really coming over, don't trick.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
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and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
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And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.