dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
