I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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