Already got asked if we're dating
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
