Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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