i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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