New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
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After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
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The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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