I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
