i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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