I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
