Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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