just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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