I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
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