Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
