i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
