I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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