You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
