i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The power of my boobs compel you
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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