Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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