babies were throwing up all over the place
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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