i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
