so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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