sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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