Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
