what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I FOUND THE LEGS
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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