It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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