YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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