So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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