when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize