He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think people are normalizing furries
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
