So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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